The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
I personally feel that this book is quite short, but it warms up very slowly. In the first half of the book, if you don't know the plot direction, it can be quite boring. The early part of the book is hard to see some foreshadowing. When the Stevens in reality timeline, in his narration, which I remember is towards the end of the book, exclaims that perhaps life is determined by countless turning points and events, these turning points often seem trivial at the time, so inconspicuous. Yet we can only realize how important these trivial things were many years later, in hindsight. Stevens' monologue in this part makes me feel that he had many opportunities to retain Miss Kenton, but he always chose the wrong option in these seemingly inconspicuous trivia. During the years of serving Lord Darlington, Stevens blinded his own emotions, placing everything of his employer, Lord Darlington, above his own feelings. Even when it was revealed at the end of the book that Lord Darlington was a pro-German Nazi sympathizer, helping Germany infiltrate the British elite before World War II and his reputation was tarnished, Stevens still chose to believe in Lord Darlington. Because he wanted to provide the best service for his employer and be what he considered a dutiful butler. However, this doesn't mean that Stevens had no emotions. It's precisely because Stevens had emotions that in reality timeline, when the American gentleman Mr. Farraday took over Darlington Hall after Lord Darlington's death, he received a letter from Miss Kenton, which was a turning point for him to finally realized his own feelings. Therefore, he temporarily set aside his work to invite Miss Kenton back to Darlington Hall.
In fact, even during his service to Lord Darlington, there were some details that indicated Stevens still had emotions. I mean, although he tried to conceal his emotions to devote himself to his job, he's still a human being for sure. One time, when Miss Kenton entered his room and found Stevens reading a romantic novel, Stevens explained that he was doing so to learn some decent and appropriate language to better serve Lord Darlington and the guests. He said he didn't read academic books because the language was too academic and couldn't help him learn decent and appropriate language. However, was Stevens reading romantic novels only to learn language? We cannot be sure. The book mentions Stevens' intuition three times. The first time, when he learned that Miss Kenton's aunt had passed away, he forgot to offer condolences to Miss Kenton, only discussing work and leaving her room. In the corridor, hesitating whether to return to her room to comfort Miss Kenton, his intuition told him that Miss Kenton was crying and that it was best to leave her alone for a while. The second time was when Miss Kenton told Stevens she was getting married and leaving Darlington Hall. Stevens congratulated her and said he had to hurry upstairs to serve the foreign politicians and guests. Miss Kenton returned to her room and closed the door. In the same corridor, separated by the same door, Stevens' intuition once again told him that Miss Kenton was crying. The last time was when Stevens met Miss Kenton, who was already married. His intuition told him that Miss Kenton was not satisfied with her married life, and there was a faint sadness on her face. Only the last time did Stevens clearly tell us that he believed his intuition was correct, because before Miss Kenton refused his invitation to return to Darlington Hall, when she was leaving on the bus, she cried in the rain and told Stevens that this was the third time she had left home. Miss Kenton's married life was indeed not ideal, just as Stevens' intuition had suggested. As for why she was crying, perhaps it was for her deceased aunt, perhaps it was for leaving Darlington, where she had worked for many years, but I think it was more about Stevens' indifference. She cried because she had passed the age where she could continue to wait unconditionally for Stevens, and she had to bow to life and spend the rest of her life with someone she didn't love. (Though she said she has grown to love Mr. Benn, which could possibly be true in the reality timeline.)
In the end of the book, Stevens sits on a bench by the docks with a retired stranger. The stranger listens to his regrets and experiences and comforts him, saying that we can never recover the past. Although you and I are both old, there is still some time before death. Why not enjoy the remaining life? Stevens is deeply moved by this and believes that at least he had dared to give his all to become an excellent butler. This is something to be proud of, even though he devoted his entire youth to his profession and his employer, Lord Darlington, a pro-German Nazi sympathizer. He missed out on family and love. Originally, this seemed like a very sad and lamentable first half of life, but now, after being encouraged by a stranger, he believes that he can take pride in having sacrificed everything to become an excellent butler. If his deceased father, also a butler, knew, he would be proud of him. In the remaining time, rather than using it to lament the irretrievable past, it's better to look forward to a future that satisfies oneself.
Perhaps, as Stevens said, life is made up of countless turning points and events, and we are destined to make some regrettable choices. However, looking back on those beautiful and sad moments of the past years, we can only accept them with equanimity and look towards the future. I'm reminded of the poem by Wang Guowei: "Life is but like flurries in the wind, with scattered moments of joy and scattered moments of sorrow, all like tiny floating duckweed in the continuous river."
"You've got to enjoy yourself. The evening's the best part of the day. You've done your day's work. Now you can put your feet up and enjoy it. That's how I look at it. Ask anybody, they'll all tell you that the evening's the best part of the day." -- p177, The Remains of the Day